I hate sleeping next to my phone.
Let the First World Problems tears rain.
I understand how fortunate I am to have the luxury of being able to use a phone, but sometimes my Blackberry causes more emotional drama than any ex-boyfriend I have ever been with. My Blackberry doesn't let me sleep. Most of the time it's my fault. I stay awake constantly checking for my Blackberry's tiny red LED light to go off. Two tiny red flashes of light and my night is made. And when it doesn't, I loose sleep. Sad. But when you're alone...forever, that 2AM text can sometimes be one of the most comforting forms of communication. If you haven't reached my aptitude of madness, then, I salute you and your freedom. Congrats.
It's the not-texting, not-calling, not-writing-me-long-messages-on-Facebook (which fortunately/unfortunately? get sent to my phone). It's the I'll-just-put-my-phone-on-silent-so-I'm-not-constantly-waiting-for-it-to-make-a-noise. It's the waiting around for that one person. That one person who you respond to immediately without any hesitation. That one person who's responses you re-read over and over again just to make sure you haven't missed something important. That one person is the one person that seems to keep me up at night. That one person is the person who has helped create all the animosity I have towards my phone. That one person is the reason why I sleep next to my Blackberry, waiting for a goodnight text...a last minute "I love you."
But if you're alone...forever like me, then sleeping next to your phone is not just a hated practice, but an alone...forever practice. If I'm lucky enough to dose off, it's usually accompanied by an alone...forever sigh. Sometimes in the middle of the night, my phone will buzz, causing me to reach over to my Blackberry in hopes of a new-found romance blooming through text message (s?...a girl can dream). To my dismay, it is almost always a spam-email or a tweet from my good alone...forever friend.
The answer to my problem seems simple...I just need to sleep away from the goddamn Blackberry. But what I can't seem to do is let go of that slight hope that sleeping next to my Blackberry gives me. The disappointment of not receiving a text from that one person is the worst, but the high, the I-miss-you-goodnight-text seems to always rework the heart's memory...
